I have been a doula for many years, I have supported hundreds and hundreds of mothers in birth and never yet have I heard ONE woman regret the decision to have a midwife come to them and from there, just SEE
. how they feel
. if they are well
. what labour actually involves
I understand the logic in THEORY of planning to go to the midwife led unit or labour ward without further debate. That people feel it's a new experience, that they've never done it before etc, etc.
But in practice, how does it make sense to take an experience you haven't been through before and without further consideration, add in EXTRA uncertainty. If you are healthy and your body and baby are equipped for birth, how does it make sense to address an unknown with more UNKNOWN?
Over and OVER again, I hear mothers who've given birth saying, 'well it felt alright when I was home...' or' when I was in my bedroom, it felt manageable....it was when I got to hospital, that it all started feeling too much.'
I think it actually comes as a surprise to many women how familiar and normal the feelings of birth turn out to be.
Then what suddenly DOESN'T feel normal is having to get re-dressed, call a taxi or find a way to sit in the back of a car and travel into a place you don't know, and be with people you've never met, bang in the midst of a really, really physically and emotionally intense pexperience.
NOW the uncertainty of their body pales in the face of the many uncertainties they have CHOSEN and now face.
So if you are pregnant, reflect on how you can build in plenty of certainty for yourself (and the security and confidence that comes with that) in advance.
Consider closely what you DO know about your birth
1) whether or not you are healthy
2) whether or not your pregnancy is low risk
3) whether you and your baby are EQUIPPED for birth
4) That like all women, your body in birth will have very specific needs that you can easily provide (privacy, quiet, safety, zero-stimulation)
and make your plans from there. It might be having a doula or experienced birth partner coming to join you at home, to help you find a deeper rhythm BEFORE going in. It might be booking a midwife from the community team, ie homebirth, but keeping an open mind. And it might be starting off in your own bedroom, having support come to you and staying absolutely put.